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"We are extremely disappointed that Jordan has violated the Commissioner's Performance Enhancing Drug Policy," Braves general manager Frank Wren said in a prepared statement. "We are supportive of the program and will continue to educate all of our players, even including those stupid enough to get caught using HGH, which is currently undetectable by any drug test. We will continue to support Jordan, who has admitted to being a moron by leaving HGH in his locker and openly discussing his use with fans while signing autographs. Should Jordan decide to grow a handlebar mustache in the coming weeks, Commissioner Selig has agreed to review the and possibly reduce the 50 game suspension because of the known fact that mustaches are freakin' awesome."
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