Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hideki Irabu, Former Fat Pussy Toad, Arrested in Japan

In one of the year's most bizarre and hilarious episodes, former Yankee pitcher Hideki Irabu has been arrested recently in his native Japan. The 39-year-old Irabu apparently drank 20 mugs of beer in a bar in Osaka, western Japan, and then became violent against the bartender. The Fat Pussy Toad became angered after his credit card was rejected. He then allegedly pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair and smashed at least nine liquor bottles. The bartender sustained no injuries. Irabu paid the bill with another credit card. The police official said Irabu admitted the assault but swore that he was not wearing any of his infamous body magnets while laying the beatdown on the bartender.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Favre Cancels Retirement, Comes Back on Some Geek's Wall as a Fat Head

RV99 Monday Evening Quote

(From former Yankee pitching legend and current YES Network broadcaster David Cone, after Jason Giambi shaved his mercurial and wondrous mustache) "...and Giambi homers much to the dismay of the American Mustache Institute!"

Way to go Coney, it's great to see the enthusiasm in the booth and was even more fantastic to see you on the hill this past Saturday at the final Old Timer's Day at the old Yankee Stadium! As our good friend Luis Sojo used to say (with incredibly thick and funny accent), "Hey Coney, why don't you have a dance?!?

Friday, August 1, 2008

Sports Mustache of the Month

A familiar face has turned up in a new place. Salvatore Frank Fasano, aka "The Greatest Mustache in Baseball" has made the rounds throughout Major League Baseball, most recently landing in Cleveland as the backup backstop behind Kelly Shoppach. In a special honor to the Syracuse Basketball legend, Big Fat Sal has donned the #44 for Derrick Coleman. Always a huge DC fan, it is great to see Sal and his mustache back in the big leagues. A veteran since 1996, Fasano has played for nine MLB teams including the Royals, Athletics, Rockies, Angels, Phillies, Yankees, Blue Jays and now the Indians. A lifetime .222 hitter, Sal is known more for his stellar defensive but most for his fantastic upper lip fuzz that is always very creative and hairy. At 36 years of age it is unknown how much more baseball the Chicago native has left in those legs and that 'stache of his but at this moment in time, we should all sit back and cherish every moment in which we get to watch Sal on TV.

Artest, Yao to Produce New Rap Album Entitled "HomeBoys"

New teammates Yao Ming and Ron Artest have been jawing at each other through media sources this past week after the Houston Rockets' recent acquisition of the troubled power forward. Yao made a comment about hoping Ron-Ron isn't taking swings at fans in the stands anymore while Artest responded by saying that Yao doesn't yet understand how ghetto he is...apparently this is not the case as it was announced this morning by VIBE Magazine that the two will be teamming up in the hip-hop studio following the Olympics in Beijing as Yao will be adding his Chinese flavor to Artest's second rap album entitled "HomeBoys." Think Lil' Wayne meets Pavarotti...the talent these two musical geniuses bring to the rap game should breed nervousness to already successful hip hop moguls like Kanye West and Sean P. Diddy Combs. While Artest and Yao already have successful financial careers, their true passion for brotherhood and hip hop should raise their games on and off the court.