Thursday, April 17, 2008

Sabathia Has Another Gram Slam in Mind, Gets Shelled Again

It has been an extremely rough start to the 2008 season for last year's American League Cy Young Winner Cleveland Indians ace C.C. Sabathia. His record fell to a career-worst 0-3 after last night's shellacking by the lowly Detroit Tigers. CC allowed 8 hits, 9 earned runs and 5 walks in only 4+ innings of work. His ERA, a lofty 13.50, is the highest earned run average of any pitcher in his first three starts following a Cy Young season in the history of baseball. The most memorable part in last night's drubbing was when Sabathia gave up a grand slam to Tigers SS Edgar Renteria which knocked the hefty lefty out of the game. Instead of taking a seat in the dugout to watch the rest of the game play out and eat a couple of hot dogs, Sabathia went into the clubhouse and left Progressive Field in full uniform before getting in his Escalade and speeding away. When asked this morning what his rush was to leave the ballpark last night, Sabathia responded: "After seeing Rent hit that monster grand salami off me, all I could think about was having a delicious Grand Slam Breakfast at Denny's for only $5.99! It's great, they give you your choice of eggs and pancankes and it comes with a trifecta of bacon, sausage and ham! I mean, does life get any better than the grand slam and Denny's is always open!" Sabathia then continued chewing his 24-inch smoked beef jerky stick before arriving for the morning workout which he would not be participating in.

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