Current Washington Nationals OF and former Tampa Bay Ray, wife beater, child threatener and convicted drug abuser Elijah Dukes is in the news today without even playing in a Major League game in 2008. Dukes was sentenced to one year probation in September after pleading no contest to a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge. Since he completed 25 hours of community service during the past week cleaning cages and mopping at Lowry Park Zoo, the judge agreed to shorten his probation to six months. While Dukes enjoyed his time at the zoo, cleaning animal feces off of cages and mopping semen off the floor following daily giraffe "sexy time" activities, he is ready to return to America's Pasttime and take his game to the National League. Perhaps when the Nationals call up Dukes, his fellow teammates will force him to mop their feces off the clubhouse floor as an act of rookie hazing.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Dukes Cleans Up Animal Crap, Is a Real Stand-Up Citizen
Current Washington Nationals OF and former Tampa Bay Ray, wife beater, child threatener and convicted drug abuser Elijah Dukes is in the news today without even playing in a Major League game in 2008. Dukes was sentenced to one year probation in September after pleading no contest to a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge. Since he completed 25 hours of community service during the past week cleaning cages and mopping at Lowry Park Zoo, the judge agreed to shorten his probation to six months. While Dukes enjoyed his time at the zoo, cleaning animal feces off of cages and mopping semen off the floor following daily giraffe "sexy time" activities, he is ready to return to America's Pasttime and take his game to the National League. Perhaps when the Nationals call up Dukes, his fellow teammates will force him to mop their feces off the clubhouse floor as an act of rookie hazing.
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