Thursday, July 31, 2008

Manny to be Manny in LA-LA Land, Torre Sells Soul to Devil in Acquiring Worst Teammate in Pro Sports

Pudge Traded to Yanks, Now Must Trade in Unattractive Wife for New One

My sincere apologies to all of my fans for the recent layoff on blogging. It has been a crazy month for RV99 with the trade deadline approaching but now that it has passed and Manny is still a filthy scumbag, please come back to for all your sports spoof needs!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sports Hair of the Week

Hockey fans around the globe all wish Jaromir Jagr well as he leaves the National Hockey League behind to pursue a hockey career in Russia with the same franchise where he played three years ago during the NHL lockout. Always one of the games best and most well-known players, Jagr had a very successful career on the East Coast with the Pittsburgh Penguis, Washington Capitals and New York Rangers. While his locks were not as glorious towards the tail end of his career, as a younster J.J. boasted one of the greatest mullets in hockey history. In a sport where the mullet is a common as a 12-letter last name, Jagr's was still that damn impressive. Not only did Jagr's hair have the imperative "business in the front and a party in the back" look, but the flowing curls and very lengthy back truly made this a wonder of mankind. NHL fans will miss the Czech native and the New York Rangers must move on without their captain. Let's all wish Jaromir the best of luck in the future and a giant RV99 shout-out for his mulletuous fortunes over the past two decades.

Knickerbockers Land Hard-Working PG Duhon With Mid-Level Exception

Jason Giambi 'Support the Stache' Campaign Really Heating Up

Jags WR Jones Affirms Jay-Z Lyrics

"...So much coke that you could run the slalom!"

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Chestnut Repeats. Drops Kobayashi in Dog Off OT

While things were different, the result was the same. This year Kobayashi no longer had the injured jaw excuse, nor did he have the final 2 minutes of the Famous Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. What he did have though was tremendous heart in the 10-minute contest where the 6-time champ tied last year's winner, Joey Chestnut. However, in the 5 hot dog Dog Off, Takeru was no match for Joey as Chestnut swallowed five wieners faster than you can say "Corn Dog!" While Kobayashi is a talented and amazing athlete, the future looks very bright for the California native Chestnut who has taken the Major League Eating circuit by storm.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Siyonara Sean Avery

Today is a sad day for Rangers fans as the team officially bids adieu to the heart and soul of the franchise, the one and only Sean Avery. A fan-favorite and RV99 heart throb, Avery went above and beyond the call of duty in his Rangers tenure as displayed by playing his final game with a ruptured spleen. Today Avery signed a 4 year $15.5 million contract with the Dallas Stars. On behalf of Rangers and Avery fans worldwide, I'd like to congratulate and wish Sean nothing but the best while he looks for dumb, slutty women down in Dallas...should not be very difficult!

Clippers Reportedly Sign Kanye West to 5-year $65 million deal