Pedro Announces Possible Intentions of Maybe Perhaps Retiring at Season's End

Break out the tissues because Pedro Jaime Martinez and his 10.80 ERA could possibly be calling 2008 his final season in a 16-year career. Pedro hasn't pitched since pulling his hamstring in his first start of the year and has not won 10 games since his first season with the Mets in 2005. After winning a world series with Boston in 2004, Pedro skipped town for a 4-year $53 million deal with the Amazin's, but as many lowly Mets fans will tell you, he has not been worth his price tag. Pedro's 78-year-old father Pablo is fighting a form of brain cancer and Pedro has cited this as his reason for possibly perhaps maybe considering retiring from baseball. Friends of Pedro secretly believe the former Cy Young winner is considering retirement so that he can sit under mango trees in his native Dominican Republic. Always known for his love of the mango, Pedro actually believed Don Zimmer's head was a gigantic mango when he threw Zim to the ground in '03! Martinez will be most remembered for his colorful antics, his jerry curls and the entire Yankee Stadium fan base chanting "Who's Your Daddy?!?"