Daunte Culpepper Part Two??

Yankee Fans Cheer Farny's Injury

In the 8th inning of yesterday's 4-1 Yankee victory, there was a loud applause at the stadium as Yankee trainer and certified P.I.M.P. Gene Monahan came trotting out of the dugout. While "Monny" justifiably deserves a round of applause from the 57,000+ attendees, the intelligent fan base in the Bronx was actually cheering for the injury that just happened to everyone's favorite Yankee to hate, Kyle Farnsworth. While his ERA is a tolerable 4.24, Farny has replaced Joba Chamberlain as the Yankees' setup man and bridge to future HOF closer Mariano Rivera. He is no Joba Chamberlain, or Tom Gordon, or Paul Quantrill or Mike Stanton even. He probably has better "stuff" than all the guys with the exception of Joba, but it has always been a mental thing with Farny. His fastball has great velocity and strong movement but he always seems to surrender big home run and the worst possible times and the Yankee fan base is never afraid to let him know how they feel. Case in point yesterday afternoon, as the crowd roared after Farnsworth was hurt trying to stop a ground ball with his bare hand, an honest, natural reaction but one that pitchers are always told never to do. It has been reported that Kyle cut the webbing in between his pinky and ring finger and it is not yet known how long the Wichita, Kansas native will be out. One thing manager Joe Girardi does know and that's the fact he needs to send someone out in the 8th inning of a close game that he has supreme confidence in. Is that man Kyle Farnsworth? Perhaps. The fans will certainly say no, and former manager Joe Torre would probably agree with those fans. Can young relievers Edwar Ramirez, Ross Ohlendorf and Jose Veras be groomed for these duties? These are all good questions the Bombers will need to hammer out answers to over the next few months but until that decision is made, it's time for the bats to get hot and get some run support for the thin crop of pitchers on this year's roster.

The Return of.......Big Fat Sid to the Bronx, Even He Can't Believe it

Sick move, Cashman!

Yanks Designate Ensberg for Assignment, Acknowledge Terrible Signing

Prior to Sunday's game in Minnesota, the Yankees made a roster move to bolster their tired bullpen by recalling Scott Patterson from AAA Wilkes-Barre. In order to make this move official, Morgan Ensberg (seen left, looking as unathletic as humanly possible!) was designated for assignment. In recent days, Ensberg's opportunities had grown extremely scarce. He hit .203 (15-for-74) with one home run and four RBIs in 28 games, and he had not appeared in a game since May 25 vs. Seattle. Ensberg's last start came on May 15 in St. Petersburg. "We thought coming out of Spring Training that we'd get a lot out of him," Girardi said. "I know his at-bats were not every day, and he's been used to being an everyday player. He brought a great attitude to the park every day and worked his rear end off. But when it came down to it, the guy had no athletic ability, couldn't hit and played a mediocre third base. Honestly, I have no idea why Cash [Yankees GM Brian Cashman] even signed this bum, he is horse manure! Good riddens, Morgie!"

Roll Out Those Bids, Auction for Sushi Dinner With Dice-K Officially Open

...Eggroll please...and the winner, with a high bid of $729,029.00 iiiiiis..........KEI IGAWA!! Congratulations, Kei!Who doesn't want to just chuck a brick at the heads of these two D-bags?!?

Dicey Times Call for Dicey Measures

After throwing two warmup pitches before the 5th inning last night, Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka removed himself from the game because of shoulder tightness. The Japanese pitcher was 8-0 in his second season in the big leagues, enjoying much success against the American League hitters so far in the young season. When the team trainer came out to have a looksee, Dice-K immediately called for his interpreter, who came sprinting out of the dugout towards the mound. Apparently, a pointing motion towards the shoulder region was not considered by Matsuzaka, as his interpreter went back and forth with him and the trainer about the injury. Have Red Sox fans considered the possibility that their $100 million dollar pitcher may be mentally retarded or just plain dumb at a minimum?!? It doesn't take an English speaking rocket scientist to shake his head and point to his shoulder and Dice-K will never learn the language if he keeps relying on his interpreter to wipe his ass at every uncomfortable moment in life!

Zach Randolph to NY Media: "Stop Calling Me Willie, dammit!"

D'Antoni Explains Knicks Needs

(From today's Newsday): What needs do the Knicks have? "Guards, forwards and centers, probably," said Mike D'Antoni, who represented the Knicks on the dais here at the NBA Entertainment Studios. "I don't know, you usually get the best guy available."

Way to restore confidence in the New York fan base, Mikey!

Worst Pitcher in Baseball Sent Back Down to Minors Carrying 18.00 ERA

"I am disappointed that I was not able to produce the results that I wanted, as well as what was expected out of the team," Igawa said in a statement. "Moving forward, I will continue to work hard to be able to contribute to the team in the future." What are the chances that this statement was made WITHOUT a translator?!? Ian Kennedy was recalled to make yesterday's start in Kei Igawa's place and after surrendering five earned runs over five innings, it was clear that the youngster while rusty, is still a million times better than Igawa, who should have his eye on a lefty specialist role for a little league for kids with special needs or at least on the McDonalds Classifieds section.

Igawa Stinks it up AGAIN!

Kei Igawa's Friday Evening Epic Performance:

3.0 IP, 11 hits, 6 earned runs, 0 strikeouts, 0 walks, 18.00 ERA, Loss, 0-1.

As predicted in my 5/09/08 12:10pm post entitled 'Waste of Life' Makes Start for Yanks Tonight, Fans Pray for Rain, Igawa put together a miserable performance and my prediction was affirmed when everyone's favorite reliever Jonathan Albaladejo came in to spell the waste of life (and Johnny hurt his elbow in his third inning of work in relief - thanks, KEI!).

'Waste of Life' Makes Start for Yanks Tonight, Fans Pray for Rain

As the Yankees take the field in Detroit this evening to begin a three-game series against the Tigers, desperation is written all over the Yankee organization. Dignified bum and waste of air, Kei Igawa takes the hill tonight for the Bombers, as relief pitchers Ross Ohlendorf and Jonathan Albaladejo will be up and warm in the bullpen in the first inning in acticipation of Igawa not being able to record a single out against major league hitters. Igawa struggled with the Yankees last year, to put it kindly. In three stints with the team, he was 2-3 with a 6.25 ERA, walked 37 batters in 67 2/3 innings and spent a lot of time in the Minors, where he was 6-5 combined at Class A Tampa and Triple-A Scranton-Wilkes Barre. As Yankees GM Brian Cashman noted, Igawa has been working on and cultivating his extraordinary Japanese mullet or "Jullet" as Cash likes to refer to it. "We wasted a cool $20 million bringing Kei over from Japan since his pitching is abysmal and at times a joke, however he does have an incredible head 'o hair. The jullet hangs below the cap in the back and it is a true party at all hours of the day!" Cashman has been questioned this season for putting together a suspect pitching staff and refusing to trade young guns Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy in order to obtain lefty Johan Santana, who eventually landed in Queens with New York's second class organization. Will Igawa be the straw that stirs the drink for the Yanks in '08 and help catapult them into the playoffs? The answer is not yet known but if the Japanese pitcher lasts more than one start in the majors, it should be cause for celebration.

Sale of the Century - Get Your Pavano Doll Now!