Mets Make Bizarre Decision to Celebrate Shea Stadium Following Season Collapse

As the New York Mets inched closer and closer to a second consecutive season collapse, it was time for them to send the dump of a ballpark, Shea Stadium, out in style. Who better than Darryl and Doc, Seaver and Harrelson, Piazza and Hernandez? (sarcasm) While not an overly impressive roster of hall of famers and past greats, the Metropolitans are still a New York franchise and have a very large and rather homosexual fan base.

Sunday marked the final regular season game at Shea, and while fans have come to embrace the inexpensively built park over the past 30+ years, it is still by far the worst park in the majors. The most odd decision made was for the Mets organization to hold a Sayonara Celebration not prior to, but rather after the final game which also happened to be the final loss and final collapse for the lowly Mets at Shea. Prior to the game there was at least some hope for the Mets to advance to the postseason. Going into Sunday's action they were tied with the Milwaukee Brewers in the Wild Card and needed a win to stay alive, possibly making yet another game at Shea on Monday against the Brew Crew to determine who advances and who goes home. Johan Santana pitched a masterful game on Saturday to keep the Mets alive with a 2-0 victory but unfortunately the Venezuelan ace is not able to pitch every single game for New York's second best team. In the end, the Mets fell yet again to the pathetic Florida Marlins and packed their bags for the winter, however there was still a completely uncomfortable and poorly timed stadium sendoff celebration to look forward to beforehand! Said Jacob Wolper-Gosler-Costanza, a lifelong Mets fan and Shea dweller: "Winning my fantasy baseball leagues really helped a lot knowing I won over $1,000 while also knowing how absolutely terrible the Mets are. Is it TACO NIGHT again?!?!"

Classless Mets Dump Willie at 3:12am Following Third Win in Four Games

Now former Mets Manager Willie Randolph can breathe a sigh of relief that he has been put out of his misery. A man on the hot seat since the infamous Collapse of 2007, Randolph's job security has waned down with each loss and recently with each multi-game losing streak. It got so bad that the other day it was rumored that Willie was speaking with team management encouraging them to promote someone from his staff once he was inevitably dismissed. While they took Willie's advice and promoted Bench Coach Jerry Manuel to Interim Manager, it was a disgusting way in which to fire a manager who came only one out away from bringing his team to the World Series just two seasons ago when Cardinals' light-hitting catcher Yadier [name that] Molina blasted a game-winning home run to send the Mets packed for the winter. Randolph has always been the fall-guy with Mets management and even with their fans. A Yankee at heart, Willie has struggled with some managerial decisions since moving over to the National League and leading the Metropolitans. Most notably, the double switch has always been a true quagmire to the mustachial Randolph. However, the way in which the Mets told Willie to take a hike will never be forgotten by baseball fans and New Yorkers alike. The franchise let their lame duck manager make the cross-country flight to Anaheim, where he managed the team to a 9-6 victory on Monday night against the Angels. Following the game, Randolph met with members of the media and answered questions. He discussed the encouraging victory and how the team needs to creep its way back to the .500 to compete with the Phillies and the rest of the NL East. When he returned to the team hotel, General Manager Omar Minaya was waiting with an axe. Pitching coach Rick Pederson and first base coach Tom Nieto were also let go and replaced by coaches promoted from the Mets' farm system. Players were in shock as displayed by backup catcher Ramon Castro's quote in the team's hotel lobby: "I'm in shock. I don't know what to say." Minaya is scheduled to speak at a 2pm press conference today at Angel Stadium where he will announce the promotion of Manuel. In the 3 1/2 years as Mets manager, Randolph returned the team to contention and helped mentor young players like David Wright and Jose Reyes while grooming them into major league talents. Willie didn't deserve to go out like this and the Mets do deserve what's coming to them - a roster of elderly, over-paid, under-performing scrubs who aren't even worth the price of a soggy stale hot dog at the crappiest ballpark in baseball. Randolph had already been selected by NL All-Star Game Manager Clint Hurdle to join his staff at Yankee Stadium next month and I hope he shows up in pinstripes to receive a Lou Gehrig-esque response from the appreciative and knowledgeable Yankee Stadium crowd as there is always a spot on Joe Girardi's staff for an excellent baseball mind like Willie Randolph.