The Cedric Benson Booze-Hound Stories Roll on...

Recently released former Chicago Bears RB Cedric Benson has had a very eventful offseason which began with his intoxicated boating arrest, escalated to a DWI arrest and concluded with his outright release from the Bears organization due to these behavioral and alcohol-induced problems. On May 3, the former Texas star was charged with boating while intoxicated on Lake Travis and resisting arrest. A few weeks later, he was charged with driving while intoxicated when he was pulled over in downtown Austin. Now the teamless alkie has been instructed to install an ignition lock breathalyzer in his car. This way, Cedric the Booze Hound will not physically be able to drive his car while blacked out and looking for underage hookers. Thank goodness for the justice system!

WVU Gets Smart, Puts 'Booze Clause' in New Huggins Deal

West Virginia Men's Basketball Coach Bob Huggins received at least $20 million in guaranteed income for the 10 year extension he just signed with his alma mater. The contract also includes incentives for performance such as a $10,000 per game bonus each time he wears the ugliest mustard-colored suit ever made (seen left) and pretends to be a hot dog and eat himself. In 2005, while coaching the Cincinnati Bearcats, Huggy Bear was convicted of drunk driving when authorities found him blacked out behind the wheel with his foot on the brake and the car in drive. The Mountaineers took this into account when offering the extension to their beloved booze hound. The contract stipulates Huggins can be fired for substance abuse or habitual intoxication affecting his job performance. Apparently this is standard contract language although it is always a wise move to at least attempt to keep Big Bobby away for those bottles!