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Having a hard time understanding the following:

1) How does a youth football camp go with the Kentucky Derby?

2) Aside from being Alabama natives, what on earth could Kerry Rhodes and T.O. have to say to each other?

3) Why does the flyer look like an invite to Club Ovation with DJ Camillo on the 1s and 2s?

4) Will Owens being showing these high school football players how to swallow 25 painkillers at once?

5) Will Jennifer Hudson be on-hand with boyfriend Rhodes at the event handing out BK spicy chicken crisp sandwiches?

Hudson Ends Relationship With BK, Chooses Rhodes

In a story broken by the ever-reliable National Enquirer, apparently actress Jennifer Hudson has ended her relationship with long-time sweetheart Burger King and is now reportedly dating New York Jets Safey Kerry Rhodes. Well-known for her love of the spicy chicken crisp sandwich (seen to the left), Hudson realized there comes a time in every woman's life where she must pick a man over a sandwich (sorry ladies, this is true). In recent weeks, Hudson has been spotted in Manhattan at a variety of poultry restaurants with beau Rhodes. Said Hudson in mid-bite last week at a Popeye's Chicken in midtown, "This is like heaven, I got my man and my bucket 'o chicken, best of both worlds!" At a fundraiser for the charity People Who Love Chicken last week, Rhodes flashed the "look of death" when a cameraman tried to use a wide-angle lens to get both Hudson and her plate of food in the same shot. The attempt was unsuccessful as Hudson was lucky enough that photo omitted the gallon 'o gravy inches from her plate of chicken on the table.

Jets Sign Kerry Rhodes to Hefty Extension, Sign Ricky Vaughn to One-Day Contract

Today the New York Jets locked up one of their best defensive players by signing Safety Kerry Rhodes to a contract extension. According to various media reports, citing anonymous sources (possibly Ted Danson), the extension is for 5 years, $33.5 million, including $20 million guaranteed, making Rhodes one of the NFL's highest-paid safeties. The Jets also cut a check to Ricky Vaughn 99 (and all other Season Ticket Waitlist members) to reimburse me for four years of paying the $50 annual fee, which has since been discontinued following a threat by former Special Teams Coordinator Mike Westhoff to "smack some fools around with [my] damn cane! Ahhhhrg!" Since there is no detail on the memo, I declare the check a one-day football contract putting me, Ricky Vaughn, in Bo Jackson / Deion Sanders status!