RV99 Weekly Celebrity Sighting

New York Knick phenom David Lee was spotted waiting for a table outside on Sunday for an early dinner at Bar Pitti. They made him wait! We can add that bitterness to his unhappy contract talks with the Knickerbockers.

Knickerbockers Blow 7-point Lead in Closing Minute, Fall to Blazers

Knicks Draw Huge Celebrity Crowd...or could it be LeBron??

Happy New Year From Eddy Curry, a Beefy Burger and 2 Tasty Milkshakes!

Ricky Vaughan is back for an exciting year in '09! Keep an eye out for more ridiculous and zany articles in the new year.

Knicks Tickets! Get your Knicks Tickets Here!

In another sad move for New York Knicks fans, supporters and members of the organization, tickets are now available at your local Costco...that's right, Costco! Marc Berman of the NY Post wrote in today's paper how the Knicks are exploring new avenues of revenue in this tough economy and for the first time in known history, have established a partnership with Costco to sell packages of 2 tickets to customers at a rate of 40% off for 300-level nose bleed seats. $70 gets you 2 seats upstairs for any game except for the good one's against Boston, Denver, Cleveland, Golden State, etc, etc, etc. If anyone is looking for mediocre seats to watch the mediocre Knicks play any of the other mediocre teams in the NBA, get your Costco membership started NOW!

Knicks Winning Games, Losing at Marketing...

I bet that "Denver Pistons" game is really selling out fast!

Knicks Win in Season Opener / Q-Tip Concert / Soprano's Reunion

Knicks Unveil Unrivaled Opening Night Promotion

Knickerbockers Land Hard-Working PG Duhon With Mid-Level Exception

RV99 Exclusive: Stephon Marbury Spotted on Bleecker & Broadway With Mr. Softee

Zach Randolph to NY Media: "Stop Calling Me Willie, dammit!"

D'Antoni Explains Knicks Needs

(From today's Newsday): What needs do the Knicks have? "Guards, forwards and centers, probably," said Mike D'Antoni, who represented the Knicks on the dais here at the NBA Entertainment Studios. "I don't know, you usually get the best guy available."

Way to restore confidence in the New York fan base, Mikey!

Marbury "Running up the Mountains" to Prep for New Offense

The once-banished star point guard for the New York Knicks is excited about the up-tempo offense new head coach Mike D'Antoni brings to the big apple. With one year and $21.9 million remaining on his max contract, the best move for the Knickerbockers is to let Stephon Marbury play out the remaining year of his contract so he comes off the books. Others options include buying him out or finding a trade partner, both of which are unlikely. While Stephon feuding quite publicly with former head coach and current [fill in B.S. title here] Isiah Thomas, he stated during D'Anotni's press conference that he is excited about playing for the new regime. Steph has customized his new workout routine to fit this style of play: "I changed my whole workout regimen to get ready for him," Marbury told the New York Daily News. "I've been doing what Karl Malone did, running up the mountains. I think from watching how the Suns play and the way he allowed Steve Nash to orchestrate certain situations, I could see myself fitting into that." Now we are just left to speculate where in Brooklyn Marbury was able to find these so-called mountains!

Just Say No to A.J.

If there is one thing the Knicks have learned over the past few seasons it's that former great NBA point guards don't necessarily make impressive future coaches. Isiah Thomas is the man to thank for learning that lesson the hard way. As the Knicks pursue their next head coach, it is imperative that they hire someone who is the complete opposite of Thomas. Former Dallas Mavericks Coach Avery Johnson (seen to the left, calling a 10-yard holding penalty on #66, offense) is not the man for the job. While Johnson's resume boasts an impressive record as Mavs coach, his team was knocked out of the playoffs in the first round the past two seasons (including a series loss to the 8th seed Golden State Warriors in 2006-07). Johnson's coaching tactics have been questioned in the past by Mavs Owner Mark Cuban as well as some of his former players like Devin Harris. Johnson is known to be extremely tough on rookies as he micromanages every offensive detail with that horrible high-pitched blabbing bark of his. Avery has one of the worst voices in sports and just the thought of listening to press conferences and post-game interviews makes me cringe! As Donnie Walsh and the Knickerbockers search for the right candidate (a list that includes Mark Jackson, Herb Williams, Mike D'Antoni and others along with Johnson), they need to look for someone who does not alienate his players, something Isiah and predecessor Larry Brown were unable to do in New York. The Knicks have a lot of work to do in order to get back to being a competitive franchise and it starts with hiring the right coach and that man is former floor leader Mark Jackson.

Isiah Lands in Latex, Agrees to Terms with Vandelay Industries

In a shocking turn of events, Isiah Thomas has left his post as [insert job title here] of the New York Knickerbockers to pursue a career in importing and exporting in the latex industry. Just yesterday it had been announced that in Thomas' reduced role with the Knicks, he would not work at MSG in a full-time capacity, nor would he be permitted to have any contact with the players. There had been whispers of Isiah leaving the organization to pursue other opportunities in basketball, however after failing to land the head coaching job for the middle school girls basketball team at a special needs school for the blind and the deaf in New York, Thomas knew his round ball days were behind him. "At Vandelay Industries, Mr. Thomas will be a Sales Coordinator and report to the Director of Operations. His duties will include clerical and administrative tasks as well as working towards the common goal of our company for the overall improvement of all latex and latex related products," said Art Vandelay, founder and president of Vandelay Industries. "He reeeeeaaaally wants to be my latex salesman!" When reached by the Daily News, Isiah commented on these reports, "I have enjoyed my tenure with the Knicks but there comes a time in every man's life where he must make the important decision to concentrate more on the exporting rather than importing of latex and latex related products. I relish this challenge." It was reported that Thomas accepted the position at Vandelay after mulling over similar offers from Play Now, a playground equipment manufacturer, The Human Fund, a charitable organization specializing in giving money to people, and Kramerica Industries (it is believed this company is involved in solving the earth's "oil problem.").

Thank you Donnie Walsh!

"Following a lot of discussion and thought, I made the decision that Isiah will no longer coach the team,” Walsh said during a late-afternoon conference call. “I value Isiah and his knowledge of the game, and he will remain with the organization, reporting directly to me...I can’t really tell you where he failed with the club,” Walsh said. “I feel like some of the bigger events that happened on the way with Isiah have overshadowed some of the good things he’s done for the franchise. I think he can help us with this franchise.”

Thomas will not have a job title and will have nobody in the organization reporting to him!

That's All Folks!

23-59

Who is the real Hot Dog?

In an act unheard of in the city of New York, the Knickerbockers are bribing fans to attend "Fan Appreciation Night" this evening to see the lowly Knicks take on the NBA's best Boston Celtics by offering free food and soft drinks to all fans who attend the game. In an effort to say "thanks...and we know how badly we suck" the Knicks have unveiled plans to dress Head Coach and General Manager Isiah Thomas in a hot dog suit to wear on the sidelines as fans jeer and throw tomatoes at the unpopular and incompetent coach. This madness is sure to be a complete mess as fans will push and fight one another for sure-to-be watered down fountain sodas and "dirty water dogs." Vegas Odds for the free pretzels to actually be fresh are showings odds of 56:1, ironically the same amount of losses for Jim Dolan's boys this season. PLEASE NOTE: Baked beans and fruit cup (pictured above) will not be offered on the gratis menu.

MSG Marketing Dept. Officially on Crack

NBA's New Marketing Slogan